In a highly rewarding story developing out of Dr. Lydia Wong’s office, your therapist is using professional psychiatric language to shit talk the person who wronged you, and it is worth every penny not covered by insurance.
“I went into my session feeling like I was overreacting about this guy Theo who’d I’d been on a few dates with. He invited me to his sister’s wedding upstate, then told me that he’s in love with one of the bridesmaids, all while still trying to fuck me, then said he really wants to be friends, and ghosted me right after the trip,” you say. “But Lydia really did not see it that way.”
While you felt glum and even embarrassed sharing the details of your misadventure with your therapist, once she calmly started talking about Theo’s narcissistic behavior and lack of regard for other people’s feelings, you changed your tune.
“When my therapist said that I clearly dodged a bullet because this guy was gonna show me his true colors eventually, I was like, fuck yeah,” you say. “Then she emphasized that what happened was still hurtful and tried to get me to talk more about that, but I was like no thanks, please just keep saying what a shit person this dude is.”
Though you regularly have cathartic releases in therapy sessions and leave with a deeper understanding of your childhood, your feelings, and your relationships, hearing Dr. Wong refer to Theo’s actions as “really selfish behavior” is more satisfying than all of those breakthroughs combined.
“One sort of distracting thing was that the whole session I just kept thinking, ‘I wish that fucker could hear this! He really is bad, and that’s from a pro,’’ you say. “I told my therapist that I wanted to text Theo and let him know what she said, but then she became kind of a hater.”
“She was like, ‘What would you hope to get out of that encounter?’ and I was like okay, guess you’re done being helpful.”
Despite being led back to self-examination toward the end, Dr. Wong did confirm that Theo is a total piece of shit and a loser (basically), and that’s the most bang you’ve ever gotten for your buck.
“Sometimes she also tries to talk shit about my mom,” you add, “but then I always get defensive, so talking shit about fuckboys is way better.”
To mental health!