If you’re not a sommelier, choosing your wine can be stressful. Maybe you’re having wine because you are unwinding after a terrible day at work or maybe you’re drinking a glass because it’s what you need to get through a miserable date. No matter the reason, here are the best wines to pair with the shitty attitude you plan on maintaining all night long.
Originally from the Rhine region of Germany, Riesling is known for its light taste and refreshing aroma. A Rosé Riesling specifically pairs smoothly with the snarky comments you like to make under your wine breath. Always remember the old saying, “The lighter the wine, the easier people can see your eyes glaring through the glass at them while they sip!” After all, any wine can be a great wine for whining!
Merlot is a great choice for those new to red wine. The full-bodied Merlot Rosé is a versatile choice among experts who specialize in throwing shade as hard as possible. Pair this glass with anything from a few scoffs to a full-on public hissy fit. It’s easy to gulp while maintaining the scowl you’re wearing that makes it clear that you do not want to be here.
Pinot Noir Rosé
Pinot Noir is known as a noble wine. Whether you’re in a blame-it-on-one-person shitty mood or an I-hate-everything shitty mood, the Pinot Noir Rose’s earthy undertones will ground you in your wretchedness. The notes of leather and damp will cut right through that urge in your heart to let everybody know what you really think.
Sip, sniff, or swill! Any Rosé will pair nicely with any stank faces, loud sarcasm, mulling, pouting, and general shittiness you want to put out there. Because Rosé’s undertones and overtones are both “Who gives a shit?” you’re going to be able to make a big (terrible) impression.
Next time you feel lost in front of a wine list, remember to choose based on what level of difficulty you want to bring to the particular event. Drink up!