Success! Small Pimple Successfully Converted Into Gaping Wound

In an uplifting story out of Peoria, IL, 23-year-old Grace Kennedy has successfully converted her tiny, nearly invisible pimple into a bloody, gaping wound covering most of her face.


“It almost totally disappeared before I could pick at it,” said Grace. “But it still had a little whitehead that was just asking to get popped, so I just went to town on it.”


Grace, whose otherwise unblemished face now features a volcanic eruption of scab, went on to explain her oozing triumph.


“You know, I easily could’ve just left it alone,” said Grace. “But where’s the challenge in that? I wanted my face to embody my own searching self-loathing, to push myself to futz my miniscule, barely there zit into the most repulsive-looking mountain of pus. And that’s exactly what I did.”


“My face has never looked more disgusting,” she added.


Wow! Amazing!


Grace’s friends are proud of her accomplishment.


“I didn’t realize that she even had a pimple,” said Heather Fisk. “But now I do: everyone does. She basically has a crater on her face. She’s so amazing.”


“Yeah I’m not sure where the zit even came from, I swear I didn’t notice it,” added Leigh-Ann Miller. “But I’m so in awe of what she has made it into. Just a god-awful wound on her face. Grace should be proud.”


And she is.



“I never thought I could pick such a tiny blemish into something this grotesque,” said Grace. “It was through sheer willpower and stick-to-it-iveness, but I did it.”


“I hope that my journey inspires people across the country to inflame the shit out of their otherwise imperceptible pimples,” she added.