A recent Harvard University study concluded that divorced women are up to ten times happier than widows. The study confirmed that women whose marriages caused them years of deep, unwavering misery were happier than women whose passionate, loving marriages ended in the untimely death of the men they tenderly vowed to spend their lives with.
“We were interested in determining who was in a better mood on average: divorced women discovering their new independence, free from the shackles of an ungrateful husband, or a woman who’s doting husband was, say, hit by a car and killed on impact,” says lead researcher Philip Enders. “The data is very clear. Women with dead spouses are pretty very sad, often miserable, and usually devastated. Divorced women looking forward to a second chance at a life are typically none of those things. It’s actually a very black-and-white issue and confirms our original hypothesis.”
Most shockingly, the study found that women who had recently kicked their lying, cheating, scumbag husbands to the curb were seven times more likely to say they were “looking for love,” “down to party,” or “ready for ‘cougar town’,” than the majority of women who had tragically lost their soulmates in tragic and often sudden circumstances. Women from the widower group were 98 percent less likely to want to engage in any sort of romantic activities.
One participant, a recent divorcee from a Boston suburb, was surprised by the study’s finding: “That’s strange, since I so desperately wish my ex-husband was dead, but I guess the grass is always greener.”