Sometimes sex can get a little routine, and it can be fun to mix in new positions to add some variety to the mix. However, it’s important to have realistic standards surrounding sex, and it’s also important to establish that none of these hold a candle to riding as Yoshi around Isle Delfino. It won’t even be close, but here are some if you feel obligated to give them a try:
The Arc de Triomphe
This adventurous sex position is named after the French landmark and involves straddling your seated partner with their legs outstretched, and doing a full backbend atop their legs. While this position is an exciting way to spice up your regular sex routine while showing off your flexibility, do not attempt this position expecting it to live up to the adrenaline-pumping thrill of riding as Yoshi around Isle Delfino, drifting around village corners, and picking up items along the way. And if you picked up a three mushroom item block just in time to overtake 2nd place and win? Well, then this sex position might as well be plain old missionary.
Backstairs Boogie
This daring position involves your partner kneeling on a stair, and you facing away from them kneeling on the stair above them. Let gravity do the work as you enjoy the thrill of having sex in a naughty place – however, it won’t be as naughty or thrilling as using a blue shell and watching Bowser get absolutely annihilated before the beautiful backdrop of Isle Delfino’s beaches. Now that’s orgasmic.
Doorway Play
This sex position is perfect for when no one else is home. Basically, it’s sex in a doorway, and it will never measure up to hitting one of the speed tracks in the secret shortcut in Isle Delfino, finding a ramp, and then shaking your Wiimote as Yoshi does a sick handstand on the Mario kart that boosts your speed even more. That’s just setting the bar too high.
Try these sex positions to shake up your routine and have a little more fun in your sex life. But maybe if you want a lot more fun in your sex life, foreplay with some rounds around Isle Delfino as no one other than Yoshi to really get yourself going.
