Hey gals! Just wanted to remind you all to RSVP to my bathing suit shopping party. In case you somehow missed my sparkly GIF-filled E-vite, we’ll meet at Nordstrom’s on Saturday to try on bikinis in a group dressing room and model them for each other and help each other pick the best ones and giggle and also maybe dance on the benches to a killer summer mix. So fun!
I’m just so confused as to why nobody has confirmed yet!
I told my coworker Rita about it, and she said some people might be “self-conscious” to change in front of each other. I’m really not sure what she means. Like, conscious of yourself existing? Cuz I’m really into that higher consciousness stuff, and that’s why I think it’s so important to get to the beach and get centered. And why not do it in an adorable bandeau-top bikini? Like the ones you can help me pick out on Saturday—but first, you need to RSVP!
Did it go to spam or something?
Rita said some people don’t even like wearing bathing suits at all, let alone trying on dozens of them, let alone in front of other people. But I have no idea why! They are literally the best item of clothing I can think of. They’re colorful, help you stay cool AND get tan, they don’t get ruined when they get wet, and they’re cute like lingerie but you’re actually allowed to wear them in public. What’s not to love? Plus, trying on stuff is super fun because even if you don’t buy it all, you can get a pic of yourself wearing it just for fun. Should I maybe do a group text instead?
I did get one RSVP so far—a “no” from Becky. She said it would be too hard to buy a new bathing suit now after having the twins. I just don’t follow. Those twins are out of her body now, aren’t they? So why does she keep talking about “baby weight”? I would think she’d be thrilled to forget about changing diapers for a couple of hours while we all Instagram photos of her trying on all the latest styles from the Victoria’s Secret Swim Collection. Becky, you should love your body more!
Everyone else who hasn’t had twins: You’re definitely in, right? Let me know!
Oh also, I’m updating the plans to include going to this cool new hip-hop exercise class in the park after! Rita looked at me funny when I told her that and said that she didn’t need to feel fat and uncoordinated in the same day. Huh? Why would you feel fat or uncoordinated? Look, maybe you can just watch and make sure I don’t forget to eat before dancing or I might pass out and have to have the instructor carry me off the stage again where he’s asked me to model moves to the class. Crazy how that happens sometimes, right?
Gotta leave for work a little early today; all those modeling scouts always slow me down! You know how it is! Anyway, please RSVP by Friday!