A new report confirms a long-held theory that 25-year-old Megan Hickson is incapable of keeping a real plant alive – and that fake one isn’t fooling anyone, Megan.
Megan placed the shiny fern-like plant, derived entirely from plastic, in her living room, causing zero friends or family to say, “Hey, that’s a really nice plant.”
“I got her one of those low-maintenance plants they keep on the International Space Station and she still managed to kill it,” says Megan’s mother, Virginia. “So it’s very clear that the only plant she can keep alive is one that was never alive to begin with.”
Sadly, Megan really thought people would be duped by the crappy-looking plastic approximation of a plant, which was purchased at IKEA for $20.
Hickson’s friends and family say there was no way they were going to fall for that fake-ass plant.
“What does this bitch think she’s trying to do? It looks like someone painted a blooming onion,” says Jill Klein, Hickson’s friend. “And even if it was one of the good fakes, nobody in their right mind thought Megan would be able to keep a plant alive for this long, anyway.”
“I mean, she can barely feed herself.”
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Megan told reporters. “I wanted to add some green to my apartment but plants are like really needy. You have to water them all the time. Not just once, you have to keep doing it. It’s exhausting. Anyway, this fake one looks just as nice.”