With the recent news of “top shortages” and “bottom surpluses”, many are bravely and heroically coming out as vers. But like with all queer identities, we have to investigate whether or not these folks are really valid, or a total fraud. To find out if you’re a true vers, or just a polite queer who’s been socially conditioned to put other people’s needs before your own, take the quiz below!
How do you respond when people ask, “What are you into?”
- I start having cold sweats because I’m just a super chill girl. I’m easy breezy and into whatever! Haha!
- Some days I’m into this and other days I’m into that. Sometimes I’m out of practice, but either way I always have the gear on hand.
Has anyone ever accused you of being selfish?
- I’m always happy to help, thanks for asking!
- Yes, but only about the AUX cord and my Netflix password.
How often do you apologize?
- Every time I have a guest over I apologize for my messy apartment (as a talking point).
- Once last month, because I actually did forget the strap, sorry!
What do you do when you’re asked to top?
- I would rather lay permanent claim to the pillow, but I also believe in wealth redistribution so I switch it up for the good of the group.
- I top. Duh.
Mostly A’s: You live to serve, but don’t worry, we’re not mad at you! Maybe try subbing or a praise kink instead?
Mostly B’s: You’re a true vers! You’re everyone’s most reliable third, you’ve probably never been a hater in your life, and you’re probably bi? Basically, you know how to appreciate everything life has to offer.