Uh oh! Reports coming from a two-bedroom apartment in Astoria, NY are suggesting that Tilly Stourton, who went to prep school in London, is attempting to do the dishes poorly again.
“It’s definitely my turn to do them!” Tilly said, who will inevitably use too much soap yet somehow not leave any pans even remotely clean. “Does anybody want to help me dry?”
Tilly, who had a live-in nanny/housekeeper in her early youth, remains unfamiliar with the basic processes that prevent glassware from becoming greasier than when they entered the sink in the first place.
“I tried to show her how to wash dishes properly multiple times,” says roommate Emily Chen. “But most of that is muscle memory from my youth. I guess my brain was plastic enough then to learn complex new skills such as rinsing plates.”
After many discussions, Emily has suggested taking over the dishes full-time so that Tilly can take on some simpler chores that wealthy people might be more comfortable performing.
“That’s a great idea! Next time you do the dishes, I can do a deep clean of the apartment,” said Tilly, who will definitely use the Swiffer Wet on an un-swept floor.