Four-Year Existential Dread Still Yet to Concede

In spite of an overwhelming victory for hope and joy this week, the four-year-long existential dread governing your entire being is still yet to concede in this year’s election.


“While most people can see the writing on the wall, your existential dread insists it will be staying for another four years,” you say. “It is struggling to come to terms with the fact that it is supposed to be going away soon.”


As of today, your existential dread is making plans to continue leading you to a hellish place devoid of light well into 2024.



“I just thought my fear of death and the futility of being alive would quiet down for a bit once my outside circumstances changed,” you said. “But it turns out when you tell existential dread ‘no’, it only becomes more dreadful.”


“Will the looming existential dread finally give in by 2021, where you might decide that maybe having children isn’t a bad idea after all?” says one analyst who is more or less aware of your whole deal. “Or will it begin its own small fiefdom in your head where it constantly reminds you that democracy and the Earth itself is breathing its last dying breath? It’s still too early to tell.”


Sources report that you should be feeling happier right now, and that very fact is, indeed, making you feel even worse.