‘I’m So Glad This Is Finally Over,’ Says White Woman About Bangs That Took 4 Years to Grow Out

After four years of fear and uncertainty, Lincoln, ND resident Madison Smith is finally breathing a sigh of relief after the bangs that have haunted her life have fully grown out.


“I don’t think I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep since 2016,” Madison said. “I’m just so glad this nightmare is finally over.”


Madison, who remained “apolitical” during the presidential election, is hopeful about her future, specifically.


“The last four years felt like a blur,” she said. “Literally – the bangs were in front of my face for a full three years. I feel like I can see so clearly now.”


While Madison was open at first to the prospect of short, blunt-cut bangs, she was soon dismayed by the various problems they caused.



“Once they took control, no amount of clips or bobby pins could hold them back,” she said. “They were completely out of control, and I just felt so helpless.”


Madison is hopeful of what’s to come now that she can finally pull her hair into a ponytail and someday even get layers again.


“Now I feel like I can finally breathe,” she said. “I can’t wait to just chill with my friends and family like it’s 2015 again – especially my mom, who never really liked my bangs and always told me they were a bad idea.”


At press time, Madison’s mother was hospitalized and intubated after testing positive for COVID-19.