In an inspiring story of attempted productivity, 25-year-old Portland, ME resident Elle Ballard has started waking up earlier in the morning, with the only result being that her morning routine now takes her two hours instead of her usual 20 minutes.
Not quite a productivity win, but definitely a good try!
“Turns out, when I give myself more time to do something, I will utilize all of that time to do that thing,” Elle told reporters. “I’m not working out or spending time journaling in the morning now just because I technically ‘have the time.’ No, I’m standing in the shower and watching the water drip off my fingers until I am running way later than usual.”
Elle said that she’s so tired when she gets up early that things that used to only take her a few minutes now take her the better part of an hour.
“I used to just shower, brush my teeth, do my hair, put on an outfit and then go straight to work,” Elle said. “Now, I have time to shower, brush my teeth, do my hair, put on an outfit and go straight to work but at 0.25 speed.”
“I was missing out on so much when I would sleep in,” she continued. “I never knew I could zone out and brush my teeth for eight minutes straight!”
Elle added that waking up early has helped her begin her days with intention, connection, and purpose.
“I used to complete all of my morning tasks at a bit of a clip,” Elle said. “But now I can complete them at a pace that is so mind-numbingly slow that it’s almost like I’m not even doing anything at all.”
Okay, slow living queen!
Elle admits that her original intention was to get up earlier in order to get more done in the morning, but this is just how things shook out for her.
“You know the saying, ‘the early bird gets the worm’?” Elle asked reporters. “Yeah, well that hasn’t really been the case for me. It’s more like, ‘the early bird gets to scrounge around in the dirt for twice as long, still leave wormless, and is now, inexplicably, 20 minutes late for work.’ It’s like nobody ever considered that the early bird might be really, really sleepy.”
At press time, Elle had started going to bed earlier in order to not feel so tired in the morning. However, that immediately backfired when she discovered that, no matter how many hours she sleeps, her body always craves more.
“Now, I’m going to bed so early, I barely have time to complete my nightly routine, and I’m still so tired in the morning it takes me twice as long to get anything done. I guess those are just the sacrifices you have to make in the name of productivity!”