New Movie Has Women In It

Sony Pictures shocked Hollywood insiders and the nation at large this week when it announced plans to develop a movie with women in it. According to a press release, the film will star real female actors, and may even have female members of the crew, including possibly a female director. Questions regarding the gender of screenwriters and producers are yet unanswered, though sources close to the studio confide that it would be “highly unlikely” that these positions be given to women. Said one source, “Let’s be realistic. Imagine what it’d be like if their cycles coincide. Cat fights galore, plus a huge chocolate logistics issue for craft services.”


Women across America have expressed both enthusiasm and skepticism about the upcoming film. “It’ll be interesting to see a movie with women in it,” says Jane Delaney, a homemaker from Plano, TX. “I don’t know how I’m going to get my husband to see it, since I figure it’ll only be about women’s issues, but I guess he owes me for all those Fast and Furious movies I sat through.”


Others wonder if Hollywood is ready for a film with women in it. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel like it’s time to have a movie with women in it, but what if this isn’t ‘the right one,’ and that ruins women being in movies forever?” says Maya Owens. “Maybe they should try to make a movie with all dogs or babies first? Oh wait, I think they’ve done that.”


While it is clear that this film will contain actual human women, little is known about the plot. Speculators have posited plotlines from a gal-pal road trip comedy to a team of sexy superheroes, but Sony remains mum about the details. Says one anonymous source: “We’re dealing with a limited range of ideas here. There’s only so much that women could do in a movie.”



“According to market research, there are only about three usable film plots with women featuring prominently, and one of them involves a man pretending to be a woman.” says one Hollywood insider. “You want a new angle, try using dogs instead of people. Dog Caddyshack? I’d see that.”


While many have lauded Sony’s forward thinking, others have chosen to reserve their enthusiasm until greater gains can be made for women. Valerie Park, spokesperson for a women’s rights group, claims that until women have greater representation in entertainment, audiences should treat this new film as an instance of tokenism. “It’s going to take more than one movie that has women in it,” says Park. “Maybe it will take two women. Or maybe just a bunch of dogs. That’d be cool.”


Even with the plot under wraps and controversy aflame, people are still speculating about the cast. Entertainment blogs are buzzing with talk of the film featuring Scarlett Johanssen, Emily Blunt, and Sandra Bullock. While no casting news has been made certain, leaked memos from Sony allude to the film featuring a “sarcastic brunette,” a “black one,” a “fat one,” and “Cameron Diaz.”