My Boyfriend Brushes My Hair So I Don’t Shed On His Couch

In healthy relationships, romance is all about gestures, large and small, that let your partner know you’re honoring their needs and desires. That’s why I’m totally cool with letting my boyfriend brush my hair so I don’t shed on his couch.


When it comes to physical intimacy, I’m all about kissing and snuggling, but letting your man brush your hair works, too. It’s a way to get some physical affection, and to not molt strands of dead cells all over a couch he “shelled out an ass-load of money for at Crate and Barrel.”


It’s just like that scene in Out of Africa when Robert Redford washes Meryl Streep’s hair, or that scene in Sex and The City when Miranda and Steve try to re-create that scene from Out of Africa! Except my boyfriend and I aren’t in an exotic river or a candle-lit bubble bath, we’re on an old Transformers: Beast Wars beach towel he carefully placed over his couch.



Some people would call this a fetish or a phobia, but deep down, I know my boyfriend just loves me—and his couch. He even bought a special brush for our romantic ritual. I told him I already had a hairbrush, but he said, “This one’s supposed to be the most effective for removing loose fur from the undercoat.” Isn’t that sweet? He went out of his way because he wants only the best for me, and also only the best for his brand new, custom-made plush couch.


Does he think I’m a cat? Maybe. Does that change our relationship? Not at all.


Sometimes he’ll whisper the most romantic things in my ear while he brushes like, “Now I won’t have to snake my shower drain as much,” or “Nutrient deficiencies can cause hair loss, you know.” These sweet nothings from my sweetheart just make me swoon!


When he’s done, my boyfriend puts my special brush in a cabinet that is basically a shrine to me. There are special treats in there that are only for me that he’ll give to me whenever we’re having fun, or if I don’t sit on the couch when he’s out of the apartment. That kind of attention to detail devoted to me—and to his couch—is so romantic!
It may take some experimenting to discover what really revs your partner’s emotional engine (and protects his furniture), but trust me, it’ll be worth it. At the end of the night when you get to snuggle next to your happy partner curled up at his feet, you can rest easy knowing his couch is in good condition and you’re his Good Girl.