How to Make Your Queefs Adorable by Inserting a Squeak Box in Your Vagina

Queefs happen to all women, but are your queefs cute enough? Save yourself the embarrassment of having normal-sounding queefs by inserting squeak boxes in your vagina! With these squeaky objects, your queefs can be adorable and not gross, like nature intended!


Dog Toys

You’re on your way back from a long trip to Poundtown with your boyfriend Brad and steam is sputtering out of your lady engine. Gross! Take preventative measures by gutting your dog’s favorite squeak toy for its squeaky hidden jewel. In one confident yet relaxed motion, stuff that sucker right up there. Soon Brad will be cooing at every little honk and squeak your precious cooter can muster up. You’ll be rolling and laughing so hard together it’ll sound like a little clown is running by!


Clown Noses

Speaking of clowns, take a note from carnival freaks and cram a squeaky clown nose up your front wazoo! Who wants to hear those icky queefs you’ll rocket out during “happy baby” pose? Nobody, that’s who! Your whole class will be enamored by just how darling your ham clam is that you just might be appointed the new yogi master…of cuteness!



Toddler Shoes!

Bending over can be a danger zone when it comes to owning and operating your queefer. Who knows what could come tooting out? Eliminate the fear of queefing-while-bending by stealing your three-year-old niece’s squeaky shoes. You know the ones! Tried and tested, shove the squeakier of the two shoes up your hoo-ha for optimal cuteness. It’ll be just like that famous six-word story, “For sale: baby shoes, CUUUUTEST queefs!”


Women shouldn’t have to suffer ugly off-pitch queefs. With these tips and tricks, you’ll be on your way to win the title of Miss Cutest Queefer, USA! Good luck!