Tensions are running high in the Perkins-Reynolds household today as new mom Jenny Perkins finds herself in an escalating turf war with mother-in-law Angela Reynolds over their philosophies on child-rearing.
Angela, a mother to four grown children including Jenny’s husband, Scott, has taken to “dropping by” up to four times a week to deliver home-cooked meals, check in on 10-month-old Rider, and provide Jenny with helpful, unwanted mothering advice.
“Jenny is a fantastic mom, but it’s a lot of work so I’m just trying to help out in any way I can,” stated the quietly condescending in-law, while loading the dishwasher and putting everything in all the wrong places. “I definitely don’t want to intrude or come across as judgmental in any way.”
But according to Perkins, Reynolds has been acting like a real know-it-all on everything from baby food brands to nursing techniques.
“It’s not that I don’t trust Susan, I totally do,” says Jenny, “but being a mom today is different than it was 30 years ago. She acts like she’s the fucking saving grace of motherhood. But she doesn’t even know what a Bumpo is.”
Tempers flared recently over Angela’s “fucking typical” misuse of Jenny’s organic Moby™ baby wrap. Jenny returned from a quick trip to the neighbor’s to find Angela stove-heating baby formula with Rider loosely front-wrapped to Angela vs. properly side-secured as per Moby™ directions and going through cupboards “like she fucking owned the place.”
Scott is committed to staying neutral on the conflict despite mounting evidence that his mother “just can’t fucking let it go.”