In a surprising turn of events, your mom has suddenly switched from decades of being a total narc to someone humbly asking you for advice on how to smoke a bowl with some aluminum foil.
In the past, your mom’s stance on cannabis consumption has been a succinctly clear: “Absolutely not.” However, since you went to college and she and your father have had the house to themselves, they have become quite experimental in how they indulge, despite having grounded you in high school countless times for the very same thing.
“It all started when Tracy from the salon gave me some gummies to try,” your mom explained, shaking her little dime bag at you over a zoom call, even though she made you apologize to your whole family at Christmas when you were 15 because your cardigan smelled like pot. “And my, I hadn’t realized how lovely that would feel. So your dad and I got some of the good stuff – primo bud.”
When you advised your mom that aluminum foil could be fashioned into something looking like a pipe, or used with an empty soda can fashion a bowl, she responded, “Oh! I think I can actually use your dad’s old tobacco pipe! It should be laying around somewhere.”
You then spent the next 15 minutes watching your mom figure out how to smoke weed from a pipe while reminiscing on the abundant guidance counselor appointments you had to attend for your “drug problem”.
At press time, your mom was super stoned and was totally confounded by your claims she was a hypocrite when you were younger.
“I don’t know,” she said in the midst of coughing, “That doesn’t sound like me.”
