REPORT: Mom’s Just Smoking Weed All the Time Now

Recent reports out of your childhood home indicate that your mother, a woman who in your youth advised you to stay away from drugs like marijuana at all costs, is just smoking weed all the time now.



“What?” says your mom, who just a few years ago advocated for harsh prison sentences for anyone selling such a “dangerous” drug. “It’s medicine.”


In just the last 24 hours, your mom was spotted smoking weed on her porch, vaping in her bedroom before bed, and even taking a small hit on her way into the store to do her grocery shopping.


“It just makes the whole day better. I mean, who knew?” says your mom to you, a person she once grounded for a full month when she found a joint in their dresser drawer.


“It’s great for my arthritis, and plus it’s fun,” your mom went on. “I just baked a pumpkin cheesecake.”


You’re feeling a strange mix of shock, joy, and resentment at your mom’s new habit. Though somehow not much has changed, as you’ve gone from hiding a stash of weed at your mom’s house so she won’t throw it away, to hiding the same stash so she won’t smoke it when you’re not there.


At press time, your mom was incorrectly trying to explain the differences between weed strains.


“I think Sativa is like for sitting down because of the ‘sat’ part.”