Neat! This Woman Crushed Dry January By Smoking Tons Of Weed

This January, people all across the country chose to abstain from alcohol in order to reset their bodies and return to healthier norms after the holidays. One of those people was Michelle Ruiter, 34, who totally crushed dry January by smoking a shit ton of weed.


It was important to Michelle to go to extreme measures to detox her body, but entirely depriving herself of all chemicals was never a viable option.


“Personally I find it really important to get back in touch with everyday pleasures instead of always resorting to drinking,” said Michelle, while packing another bowl. “But also I’ve realized that my body does not cope well in an entirely sober state. If I scale back alcohol, I have to up my marijuana consumption. It’s a yin-yang thing.”


Michelle said she was surprised by how easy it was to not drink for 30 days because she was pretty stoned every single evening. We’re impressed!


“I actually don’t really remember much of it, you know? But I think I was able to hang out at bars with my friends and not be tempted. Someone would offer me a drink and I’d just laugh and laugh like ‘dude, I’m sober right now.’”


But those hangout times were rare. Michelle’s friends recalled her journey of quasi-sobriety: “We didn’t see her much that month,” said Matt, a longtime friend of Michelle’s.


Michelle concedes she didn’t leave the apartment much during January.


“It’s just been so dark and cold. Plus, I was super-duper high, like, always,” Michelle said, adding that she used to time to catch up on several Netflix shows.


“I watched all of Grace & Frankie and felt so proud of myself that I avoided temptation for the entire 30 days. I mean, apart from smoking like a full ounce of weed.”



Wow! As to what’s next for Michelle, the upcoming spring and summer months will be devoted to binge drinking again. “My liver is fully recovered but my brain capacity is severely diminished right now, so now it’s time to switch back and give the ol’ noggin time to recoup,” she added.


Way to stay the course, Michelle!