‘Maybe We Could Go for a Socially Distanced Walk?’ Says Man Trying to Cum on Your Face

In recent news out of Austin, Texas, your most recent Hinge match, Leonard, has just suggested going on a socially distanced walk for your first date in order to cum on your face by the end of the night.


Leonard has been messaging you over hinge for the past week now and has been mentioning how he takes the pandemic very seriously.


“I totally get it. I’ve only been hanging out with a small bubble of my bros,” he recalled on Wednesday evening. Assured of his relative safety, you agreed to go on a socially distanced walk with him later in the week.


Based on pre-date research, Leonard seemed to be relatively socially conscious and aware of the pandemic based on his quarantine selfies with his roommates.


Upon arrival for the date, Leonard tried to give you a hug. The date consisted of grabbing coffee, sitting in a park on the same bench, and Leonard immediately pulling down his mask to talk to you from less than 4 feet away.



“Dating during the pandemic is super weird! This one girl asked if we could do a zoom call, and it’s like, how am I gonna know if things are, you know, gonna work out?” he said, again thinking about the cum.


Shortly after, Leonard invited you to his place. He expressed interest in hooking up, mainly by going in for a kiss during your “socially-distanced” date. When you pulled away, he said, “Hey, no worries if you feel like this isn’t going anywhere. But maybe we can both have a little fun tonight, masks off,” while eyeing your face a bit too eagerly.


After an awkward denial of his invitation, Leonard said, “Whatever, I just wanted to cum on your face anyway, but of course you’re not down,” before leaving. Sources report Leonard is now on Tinder, specifying that he is looking for nothing serious and that he is “being safe” during the pandemic.