Life is full of surprises. Nobody ever thinks the would be held prisoner by a tall beast prince in his mansion manned by animate household items, but I was, and ultimately I made the best of it. However, the most unwelcome and shocking turn in my saga is that my landlord is still making me pay rent for the entire time I was imprisoned.
I mean, what the actual fuck?
Basically, this beast guy kidnapped my father and I went looking for him because I’m loyal like that, then the beast was like, “Oh, my God. You’re so hot. Look, your dad can go if you switch places with him and live with me in my lair.” And I was like yeah sure because my dad is an inventor and likes to stay busy whereas I didn’t have that much going on.
The whole thing was so emotionally intense. The last thing on my mind was the monthly rent on my studio in Ridgewood, but apparently being held literally hostage by a beast in a situation that’s honestly pretty cushy (I’m just not allowed to enter the forbidden west wing) “doesn’t constitute an extraordinary circumstance that would nullify the terms of [my] lease.”
So yeah, I’ve been singing with candlesticks and slow dancing with a furry (at least that’s what I think his deal is?), but now this faceless management company is demanding I pay them $6,000 plus they say they’re not giving me my security back because this jacked guy Gaston burst my door down when I first went missing, and I’m like, I’m sorry, that’s my fault how??
Now, a lot of people might think, “Okay your beast captor/lover is a prince. Can he not, like, cover your rent?” And look, I get where that’s coming from, but let me tell you something: This guy’s not working, and the property tax he has to pay on that mansion? Woof. The system really has to change.
Honestly, the other day he told me that the enchantress who turned all his servants into objects came back a few months ago and was like “I feel bad because what do they really have to do with this? Want me to turn them back?” and he deadass said no because he can’t afford to pay them a living/any wage. I mean, he told me that in confidence, but whatever, it speaks to the gravity of the situation.
So anyway, the whole thing is super unfair, and I hope you’ll sign my Change.org petition to forgive this debt. And Gaston, buddy, you better pay for that door cause I am DEEPLY in debt!!
