‘I Don’t Usually Do This,’ Says Woman Stroking Man’s Ego


After a night of bearable conversation, proud feminist Amber Stone decided to throw her date a bone and stroke his ego.


“I’m not the kind of girl that just goes home with a guy and caters to his fragility,” Stone explains to us. “But I don’t know, there’s just something about him that makes me feel like I can safely touch his engorged ego without giving it too much power.”


“I don’t usually do this,” Stone told him on the date, his ego growing. “I usually wait until I’m in love to let my guard down and allow myself to make a man feel this good about himself.”


According to reports, Stone was able to successfully validate his self-worth “without giving him the wrong idea.”



In a statement made earlier today, Matt told reporters, “It was amazing. I’ve never felt anything like it. She even said those three little words every man loves to hear: ‘No, you’re great!’”


“Just to be clear, we did use protection,” Stone says. “Every time his ego came anywhere near me, I made sure to encourage it without getting it too excited. I used words like ‘great,’ but not ‘amazing,’ and ’smart’ but not ‘the smartest guy I’ve ever met.’ Choosing the right words made all the difference.”


Friends describe Stone as “more of a cuddler than a coddler.”


“I prefer to let the fucking do the talking,” Stone explained.


No word yet on how long Stone is prepared to continue gently stroking Matt’s ego before it demands all of her time and she doesn’t want to do it anymore.