How to Invite a New Friend to Your Birthday Dinner Without Them Finding Out They’re One of Your Main Friends

Planning a birthday dinner for yourself can be difficult – which friends are you close enough with to invite, and who might feel weirded out to receive an invite because they didn’t realize the two of you were cool like that? Here are some tips on how you can invite this new friend to your birthday without them finding out they’re actually one of your, like, actual main friends.


Ask them to come last minute.

This will make your invite seem blasé and without expectation. It might even endear you to your new friend, as it shows that you like them and wanted to extend them this casual kindness. But make sure to not extend this invitation so last minute that they actually can’t make it – because this wasn’t actually a casual invite, you secretly consider them your best friend, and they’re the guest of honor to this event, even though it is literally your birthday.


Allude to “others” who couldn’t make it.

This is great for making this person think that they were invited to your super intimate birthday dinner as an afterthought when your other, closer friends told you they couldn’t make it. Obviously, this is untrue as they were one of three friends you invited in hopes that the four of you could use this evening as a springboard into becoming a close-knit, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-esque friend group.



Insist your mom just happened to be in town and that she didn’t mean anything by it when she said she’d heard “so many amazing things” about them.

No, you haven’t been talking to your mom about them! That would be so weird! Your mom probably just got them confused with your other good friend who happens to share their same name, and who couldn’t make it tonight because they had to “work.” A few follow up questions on the part of your new friend could cause this excuse to crumble in seconds, so be sure to redirect the conversation to your sister’s upcoming graduation as soon as possible. Wait, would they be interested in coming? Don’t ask outright, but definitely inquire in a roundabout sort of way.


If all goes well, you should be having a heartwarming, margarita-fueled evening that you will cherish and scrapbook about for years to come, without your new friend ever finding out that they’re important to you. Fingers crossed they’ll attribute your watery eyes to allergy season, and not your ever-growing fondness for them. Next step: Figure out how to ask them to be in your wedding in an offhand, “no worries if not” type of way!