Friends Feign Sympathy for Hotter Friend’s Breakup

While listening to the story of her friend Ellie’s breakup on Saturday, Katherine Samuels exclaimed numerous canned phrases of sympathy in spite of her total lack of compassion for her much hotter friend.
Having just broken up with a personal trainer/animal rescue charity worker, a man far beyond Katherine’s vision for what could ever be in store for her in this cruel life, Ellie was “heartbroken” and “unsure” about whether she could confidently date again for the next couple of weeks.
“Girl, you are so strong!” chimed in Lucy Catrell, another friend of Ellie’s who successfully feigned sympathy for the flawless Ellie’s hardship. “That must be so hard,” Lucy continued, as she remembered that next week would mark year four of her own singlehood and her tenth sexless month of the past year.

“I just hope I can get back out there, you know?” lamented Ellie, as three different men in the restaurant stared at her openly while planning a casual way to approach the table.
“Yeah, totally! You’ll bounce back from this!” replied Katherine, who would give up everything to trade lives with the sullen Ellie, even just for this one day.