A nice big sneeze feels great, whether or not you climax. But let’s be real — it’s always better when you do! Here’s our getting-there guide for saying “ahhh” every time you “atchoo!”
Relax your body.
Just because your face is scrunched up doesn’t mean your body should be! A woman’s orgasm requires her to relax and let go as much as possible, especially if she’s dusting her furniture. To set yourself up for your big moment, wipe down the blades of your ceiling fan for the first time in years, picture yourself on a white sandy beach, and let the waves of pleasure flow!
Perfume your sheets.
So you have a nasty cold and are stuck in bed for a few days. Why not sex it up a little? Most women need a soft, romantic environment in order to “snum” (sneeze and cum). Lightly spritz your sheets with your favorite scent before sliding into bed and writhing around. Your sickness combined with the overwhelmingly strong airborne fragrance particles will have you snumming all night long! #Snum!
Tilt your hips so they’re in line with your nose.
While a lot of “getting there” is mental, there are a few purely physical adjustments you can do to bring that sneeze to the next level. The interior structure of the clitoris, also known as “clitoral wings,” extends way further inside you than you might think — all the way up to your sinuses. To supercharge your pleasure, tilt your pelvis forward so it’s directly underneath your nose. Then get on board that atchoo-choo train! You will almost definitely come during this sneeze.
Get a little “herbal” assistance.
It’s a well-known fact that a little bit of grass now and then can really help you hit the high notes during your sneeze. Marijuana’s depressive effect on the nervous system helps you let go of the day’s stresses and give in to the unbridled pleasure of a big fat sneeze. Plus, the smoke will irritate your nasal passages, so the kickback will be almost as good as the payoff.
Follow these tips and you’ll be counting the days to allergy season! And there’s your sneezegasm, guaranteed!