How to Give Your Best Friend Advice on Their Hinge Profile When You’ve Been Secretly Pining for Them Since 2012

Online dating is hard – so it’s no surprise that sometimes a friend needs a little consultation on curating their Hinge profile. But the task becomes way harder when the friend you’re helping is actually a childhood best friend you’ve pined for since the 7th grade. Here are how to provide tips to your friend without being too devastated that they still haven’t noticed you, standing right there.


Compartmentalize, hard.

When your best friend who you’ve loved since the moment you were science partners in chemistry comes to you with a slew of charming pictures, and a few draft witticisms for their Hinge profile, it is time to compartmentalize like your life depends on it. Take all of the inside jokes you’ve had over the years, the time you went to prom together, the colossal amount of unconditional support you’ve given them, and put it in a box, then seal the box and burn it. Instead focus on them as just a friend coming to your for dating help, and nothing else. When in doubt, suppress, which should be easy since you’ve already been doing that for years. This is the teen movie you’ve chosen to live in, and now you’re stuck with it!


Focus on appearances, not substance.

If compartmentalizing isn’t working as well as you’ve hoped, try just providing surface-level comments on how things come off, and try not to dwell on their personality questions. Do their pictures show the variety of wonderful hobbies and interests they have? Do their outfits complement their lovely smile, glistening eyes, and cheeky dimple on their right cheek? While this method can backfire as you may find yourself wanting to kiss them, but instead focus on purely providing aesthetic help. Tell them gingham doesn’t match with other patterns but isn’t it kind of cute that they thought it did? Ugh, if only they knew how great they were…



Sabotage to serve yourself.

If you’re feeling truly selfish, maybe now is a time to do help yourself. Give them the worst advice possible, or tell them that online dating is pointless and that there’s no hope out there. Convince them that dating in person is best, and then flutter your eyelashes really hard. All of this is better than coming clean about your emotions, which you never will do, anyway. That would really ruin the secret pining.


We hope this advice helps you give your friend/soulmate/unrequited love advice on their Hinge profile without absolutely devastating you. Again, you could just tell them how you feel, that would also help and possibly lead to a blossoming romance!