Aw! Friend’s Thoughtful Advice Is Actually Super Unhelpful and Extremely Dangerous

There’s no one better to turn to than a best gal friend when you’re in a rut and need advice. But one woman thinks giving suggestions means saying shit that is actually super unhelpful and extremely dangerous. Aw!


Just last week twenty-seven-year-old Jennifer Wilkins said she wanted to quit her job even though money is tight and she has no other options, but her friend Geena told her to “follow your gut and go for it!” What?! That’s a terrible idea based on almost nothing. Isn’t that sweet that she acts like she has any fucking idea what she’s talking about?


Hey, when your friend is just “looking out for you,” maybe just do it!


“One time she told me to live life to the fullest, grab life by the balls and follow my heart,” Jennifer says. “I was asking if I should get bangs.”


Aw, thoughtful!


Though Geena is not a licensed therapist, she does dole out useless platitudes on a daily basis – often forcing her shitty, self-destructive advice onto even her circle of friends! She’s even moved on to advising near-strangers she sees online; she just can’t stop responding to the emotional queries of even the vaguest of acquaintances because she just cares that much. Is she a hero? She’d say: Yes!


Acquaintances confirm that Geena recently responded with a full paragraph explaining “self-care” after an acquaintance from college posted on Facebook that “Monday’s are always the worst.”



“I didn’t even ask for advice! What the hell?” says that acquaintance, Patty Berkshire.


It’s like she read your mind, Patty! Or did she? It’s hard to tell because she gives so much thoughtless and completely baseless advice it’s impossible to keep track. But yay! Yay?


Amazingly, Geena’s advice isn’t just bad and dumb. It’s also dangerous!


“One time I was just venting to Geena and said I wanted to murder my ex,” Jennifer says. “She just said that I should ‘trust my instincts.’ What was that all about? Did she want me to murder your ex?”


Seems like it! That’s friendship, maybe!


And as if the unsolicited, highly unproductive, literally dangerous advice that she gives almost daily wasn’t enough, she’s now somehow writing an advice column for a major website. What the actual hell? Definitely don’t read that!


Here’s to friendship!