In the early stages of a relationship, text response time is the most important indicator of how much he likes you. Is he texting you every 30 minutes? He’s in love. Every 30 hours? He couldn’t care if you lived or died. Here are a few ways to get him to text you as much as a blood donation center in urgent need of some O-, as it’s summertime, and injuries – both minor and life-threatening – are far more common.
Lead with urgency.
The most important part of maintaining a steady texting dynamic is making sure he knows it is extremely urgent that he responds. None of this chill, casual, hard-to-get shit. A simple “hey!” isn’t going to cut it: He needs to know this is a matter of life and death. Because it is – the life and death of your fling! Opt for a more urgent message like, “I need your help!” or “Good citizens of New York, lives are on the line!” and he’ll be responding within a reasonable window in no time.
Use all caps.
Everyone knows that a “hey there” is nowhere near as eye-catching as a “HEY THERE!” There’s no need to be coy with a, “What are you up to?” when you could be forward and direct with a, “What are you up to, NOW. PLEASE. NOW!” Text him like you’re crying at your desk and need his help. Text him like there isn’t a second to waste, as if every blood donation can save up to three lives, because it can!
Take as few steps as possible to plan the next date.
One of the classic deaths of a good texting vibe is letting things carry on for too long without a concrete plan. Does the blood donation center let you say, “Oh, yeah, I’ll donate blood soon,” and leave it at that? NO. They immediately reply, “How about you donate blood TODAY, TONIGHT, NOW!” And that’s the energy you two need from each other. Instead of asking when you’ll hang out next, try proposing the next date as soon as possible. For example, what was he doing yesterday?
Just call.
Texting is taking too long. You need him to be all in. You need him to reply with the fervor of someone who needs to do surgery right now and simply does not have enough blood to get it done. Screw text response times. Screw the uncertainty. Call that man up and tell him you love him. There’s no time to waste. WE NEED O- RIGHT NOW, GODDAMN IT.
There you have it! Quick and easy ways to have him replying so fast, you’ll wonder if he’s just in it for your blood type. Stay safe out there!
