Comfee, the portable dishwasher manufactured by a company of the same name, always knew she was destined for greatness. After all, she had been designed and programmed to periodically wash up to 70 pieces of tableware, including plates with a diameter of up to 10 inches. However, she never imagined that her skills would repair thousands of relationships on the brink of collapse as well.
Okay, couple’s counselor!
“Everyone is always so happy to see me,” Comfee told reporters, utilizing a translator skilled in communicating between humans and appliances. “I’ve honestly lost count of how many relationships I’ve saved all over the globe, but I’m so happy that I could lend a helping hand in more ways than one.”
The dishwasher’s statements were supported by her many happy customers, including Brooklyn residents Sophie Blankson and Brian Ramirez.
“We were arguing about the dishes every week when we first moved in together,” Sophie told reporters. “Neither one of us wanted to do them, so they just stacked higher and higher in the sink, which left us with nothing to do except turn on each other.”
“Yeah, it was pretty rough for a few months,” Brian added. “I honestly didn’t know if we were going to make it, and there was just nothing we could do to fix it. But that was until we finally ordered a countertop dishwasher. Now, our relationship has never been better, and it was all thanks to just one household appliance!”
Aww! How sweet! Maybe you guys could’ve just done the dishes by hand though?
Comfee hears these types of reviews often, but unfortunately, there have been some relationships that she just couldn’t save, no matter how hard she tried.
“Although I’ve solved disputes for thousands upon thousands of couples who hate washing dishes,” she said. “There have been couples who were past the point of saving. There was one couple that bought me who constantly cheated on each other, but y’know, their problem wasn’t really with the dishes anyway, I guess.”
Exactly! Don’t blame yourself, queen!
When asked if she knew any other ways to solve relationship problems besides buying a dishwasher, Comfee was eager to offer her advice.
“Communication is always key,” she told reporters. “Also, maybe a Roomba?”
