How to Do Missionary Without Imagining His Tiny Weird Butt In the Air

You found a great guy who volunteers to do most of the work in bed while you relax on your back like the decadent bitch you are. That’s awesome and you deserve it! There’s only one thing now that can come between you and finishing, and that’s the imagining of his little ass moving so quickly while he does all that work. Here’s how to do missionary without thinking about the other angle of this, which is 100% a small freaky man-butt thrusting desperately in the air.


Talk Dirty

It can be exciting to narrate what feels good to you and give a hot play by play of what’s happening. Try something like, “I love your penis and what it’s doing to me right now,” or, “Your chest and arms on top of me are all I’m thinking about at the moment.” It can really bond you two, and simultaneously stop your brain from inevitably slipping back to images of his narrow little rear working overtime on top of you.


Make Prolonged Eye Contact

If the talking isn’t working and you’re still thinking about his delicate little dude butt, lock eyes with your man to bring you both into the present moment. Making eye contact during sex can be intimidating in its level of intimacy, but when sustained, can really intensify every sensation and foster a whole new level of comfort between you. And when you’re lost in his eyes, it’s a lot harder to think about the little frowning creases that are surely happening under each comically compact little cheek with every thrust inside of you!



Role Play

If none of this is working and you still can’t get your mind off of his itty bitty bum overexerting itself, suggest some light role playing to ramp up excitement. This’ll add some much needed steam back into the experience that is almost being ruined simply by the presence of his puny little tush waxing and waning in the air. In any scenario, you’ll notice you can grab onto that covered up shrimpy behind and barely even be able to tell how absolutely devastating it is!


Don’t let a small inconvenience like his petite ass getting its cardio in distract you from his otherwise fairly mannish and wide frame, even if that juxtaposition itself is what makes his baby rump so fucking weird. Focus on your synergy together, and when that’s not working, just ask him to lay down and finger you instead.