You’ve got several trips planned for 2016, and one thing’s for sure—you’re probably going to pack a bunch of healthy, responsible snacks that you will definitely not enjoy. And we’re here to help you do it! Since it’s the New Year, you’re full of optimism, and when your intentions are great, your snacks usually blow. So here are a few healthy travel snacks that will have you wishing you’d packed some Cheez-Its instead of all of those goddamn raw unsalted cashews.
Low-Fat String Cheese
String cheese is an easy, protein-packed travel snack you will eat hesitantly, and only if there is nothing else available to you. It’s like regular cheese, but rubbery, sinewy, and less delicious. Eating tiny shreds of something is a great way to feel even hungrier than when you started. You will probably spend $8 on a mini can of Pringles at the airport gate just to avoid eating this infantilizing snack.
Anything in the Grape Family (Besides Wine)
Has anyone ever looked in their carry-on and been happy to see a Ziploc full of grapes or a tiny box of golden raisins? Absolutely not, but what matters here is that it’s sort of good for you and not candy, which would’ve actually been delicious! Non-alcoholic versions of grapes are the perfect thing to pack if you want to deeply sigh into your handbag and regret your New Year’s Resolutions.
Dark chocolate is a smart and healthy choice sure to leave you wishing it was regular chocolate. Throw an 85% cacao bar in your briefcase and you’ll be sure to stare at it angrily later when you’re super hungry and tired and out of options.
Salt-less nuts are a really popular snack that many people pretend to enjoy. However, eating almonds without the salt is like eating a cupcake without frosting. Oh man, cupcakes! Now there’s a snack you will daydream that you had on you instead of these plain, raw nuts!
When you left the house this morning for that day of meetings, you thought maybe this Greek mango yogurt would make for a guilt-free midday treat. You were dead wrong and now the only thing you have to snack on is a lukewarm yogurt and your unquenched cravings.
Those Travel Almond Butter Packs
This one actually tastes good but you will feel tons of regret when you realize how pathetic you look sucking almond butter out of a small pouch in public. Why didn’t you just make yourself a sandwich?
Well, you know what they say—it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey, and on most journeys you’ll find yourself wishing you had Chex Mix or Starbursts instead of the healthy shit you packed.