Guy Who Can’t Afford $10 Condoms Miraculously Able to Afford $50 Plan B Pill

In an event some are calling “miraculous,” 28-year-old Corey Briskin was able to afford a $50 Plan B pill despite claiming he couldn’t afford a $10 box of condoms earlier that same night.


“I asked him to pick up condoms on his way over and he showed up empty-handed,” says Megan Stein, Briskin’s on again, off again hookup. “I was like, ‘Why didn’t you just text me that?’ because I would have run to the drugstore myself. What a fucking idiot.”


Too tired to care, and also eager to end her month-long dry spell, Stein agreed to sleep with Briskin despite not having a condom.


“He was definitely into the idea of condom-free sex,” says Stein. “In fact, it almost seemed like he set up the situation to his own advantage, but then it was almost like he received an inheritance or something right after we screwed each other on my pullout couch.”


When Briskin heard Stein was in fact not on the pill, he summoned a power he didn’t even know he possessed: The ability to conjure money after claiming not to have any at all.


“The money just came out of nowhere,” says Stein. “One minute he’s totally broke and can’t even afford the cheap, store-brand condoms despite the risk of him catching an STD, then the next minute he’s pulling all this cash out of his pockets like he’s some kind of fucking wizard.”


Wow! Talk about the miracle of life.


“I have no idea where the money came from. I told her it definitely wasn’t there before I came over,” says Briskin. “Because it wasn’t. I was so broke. But as soon as I heard she could maybe get pregnant with my baby I imagined having to deal with that situation, and then it was like ‘oh right I have money.’ Not only in my pockets but also in my wallet and on my debit card too.”



What an unexplainable, yet lucky turn of events for Briskin!


“I knew the guy was an okay lay,” says Stein. “But a miracle-worker? I never would’ve guessed!”


At the conclusion of the interview, Briskin was also witnessed magically recovering his ability to text Stein back to ensure she had taken the Plan B.