Woman Who Can’t Afford A/C Owns Nine Salt Lamps

After living with hot, humid temperatures in her apartment all summer, Jennifer Goodwin still refuses to purchase basic luxuries like an air conditioner, but is enjoying her most recent purchase of nine salt lamps.


“People say seeing is believing, but sometimes you just got to have a little faith,” Jennifer says. “Salt lamps have unbelievable benefits on the mind and body, and not even a little heat stroke can convince me otherwise!”


All nine salt lamps are scattered throughout Jennifer’s apartment. Jennifer has strategically placed them for the most effective coverage possible, and will even carry the lamps around with her if necessary.


“Due to the extreme summer heat, I haven’t really gotten much sleep the past few days,” Jennifer admits. “But I trust the benefits of salt lamps will reveal themselves over time.”


Jennifer’s husband, Mark, admits he hasn’t invited friends over to his house ever since they lost A/C.


“It’s too humid to even breathe in here,” Mark explains. “I think I’ve actually developed asthma since we’ve ordered all the salt lamps. What do salt lamps do again?”



As winter approaches, Jennifer says she has no plans to invest in heat just yet.


“If you believe in the salt lamps, they will eventually help you,” Jennifer said. “God, it’s hot in here.”


At press time, Jennifer was seen pressing her ear up to a salt lamp as if she was hearing a voice. Following a long moment of silence, Jennifer giggled and whispered back to the lamp.