With so many responsibilities and places to be, chronic lateness is a problem many of us face. How can you distract from your lateness while you have to remain physically present? With these over-the-top dramatic entrances, you’ll wow them into forgetting just how late you are and force them to focus on something more fun and distracting. Here are the most dramatic displays to draw their attention to your arrival, and away from your penchant for tardiness.
Breathlessly throw open the door, shouting, “I made it!”
Breathlessly throw open a door and shout, “I made it!” for a classic dramatic entrance. Doing this will make your boss wonder what you just went through instead of why you’re 45 minutes late yet again. Clutch your side and wheeze as loudly as you can to really drive your point home. After all, no one can be mad at you if you’re breathing like you chased a bus several blocks, finally caught it, fell out the window, then got hit by that same bus and still got up to continue running to work. What a fun and interesting story!!
Jump straight through a plate glass window.
When you up the ante and jump through a window, all that exploding glass will make it impossible for your book club to remember you should’ve arrived an hour ago! Though they finished their discussion questions about The Time Traveler’s Wife without you, they won’t hold your absence against you because all they can think about now is your spectacular entrance, and how expensive it’s going to be to replace that window. Risking bodily harm proves to them you’ll do just about anything to get there. Everything, except for leaving on time.
Descend a spiral staircase to classical piano.
This entrance is more understated but works just as well. Appear at the top of a spiral staircase wearing a ball gown, then pause with your hand on the banister to distract everyone from your lateness. Your friends will forget about all the frantic texts they sent asking, “Are u coming?” and “Is everything ok??” as they gasp instead at the stunning beauty they never knew you had. Take as much time to gracefully descend from the staircase as you took to get ready for this birthday party. By the time you reach the bottom, no one will remember what they were so pissed about.
Ride in on a horse.
Riding into work on a horse will draw attention to your horse and away from the fact that you’ve arrived 15 minutes behind schedule every single day, even after getting a talk from HR. Ride the horse freely through your building to replicate the rush you get from constantly having to solve the mini-crisis of your own lateness! Another pro to this tactic: Your boss can’t fire you if he’s too busy taking care of the office’s new pet horse!
Float down from the sky holding an umbrella.
Floating down from the sky holding an umbrella will shock your employees and make them believe you’re magic. You do need to know magic to do this, but that’s what it makes it all the more exciting! Sure, this entrance is near-impossible to achieve, and yes, the act of waking up on time is very possible—but if you do manage to pull it off, nobody at your company will recall how much you inconvenienced them again, as they’ll be too busy applauding your arrival from the heavens. Take in that applause—you deserve it!
Practice these dramatic entrances at home, and use them to distract others from your total inability to arrive anywhere on time. Sure, you could put some effort into fixing the problem, but seriously, why would you do that?