How To Love Yourself Even Though You Lost Your Left Nipple Piercing in a McDonald’s Ball Pit

Loving yourself is a lifelong practice that can prove challenging at times – especially when you lose a defining symbol of what it means to be you. While, for some people, it can be a creative work or a childhood toy, for others it can be losing one of your diamond-encrusted nipple barbells after breaking into a McDonald’s ball pit on acid. You searched everywhere – even the slides – and found nothing but old feces. If this is you, here’s how to love yourself through this tremendous loss:


Remember that you are not what you own.

Just because you got your left nipple piercing at a time in your life where you were becoming your true self, doesn’t mean that the objects you own have to define you. You are intrinsically yourself, no matter what kind of nipple piercing you lost after you decided it would be fun to go “skinny dipping” in a ball pit designed for small children. Remember that before you “go under” for the third time, topless, clutching your left nipple.


Do something you love – outside of a McDonald’s ball pit.

You broke into the McDonald’s ball pit because you loved it as a child – now it’s time to try doing something else you love because the cops are going to come soon. Think of all the things that bring you joy, make you feel present, and most like yourself, and go and do those things. Do them quickly, because you technically just committed a misdemeanor, and you cannot return to the scene of a crime after this.



Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

So you made a mistake by hiding in the bathroom of a McDonald’s until an hour after close, just to finally be able to dive naked into a ball pit alone where you ultimately caught your left nipple ring on a screw and now you’re low-key bleeding all over the ball pit – we’ve all been there. The hard part is learning to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Remember that, in these strange times, people have done far, far worse than you have, and that you are just as worthy of forgiveness as everyone else. Even though you did bleed all over a children’s ball pit.


Loving yourself can sometimes be the hardest thing of all – even when you’re locked inside a ball pit until the employees disable the security alarm in the morning. In the end, it’s important to remember that you are loved – no matter which three-year-old eventually finds that nipple ring. Good luck!