Summer is winding down, and by now you’re totally over those books you never got around to reading. Now it’s time to whip out that favorite chunky sweater and curl up at a local café with a new list of books to neglect as you text selfies to your old college roommates. We’ve selected our top five classic reads to display on a table while you’re busy texting:
Infinite Jest – This book is fucking huge, making it an excellent choice of literature to place in front of you at a café while you refresh Instagram repeatedly and group chat your girlfriends. You’ll look totally badass touting this eleven-hundred-page coaster, and the footnotes alone will provide enough kindling to keep a fire going for weeks should an early snowstorm catch you unprepared.
Romeo and Juliet – Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? He’s watching longingly from across the café as you sip chai tea and text your mom for money. He’ll be so enthralled by your projected interest in books that he’ll have no time to acknowledge your inaccurate comprehension of the word “wherefore” or your classification of this play as a book. Don’t worry; you’ll have plenty of time to look it up on your phone while you’re not reading Act II.
The Great Gatsby – No one parties harder than Jay Gatsby, except that crazy coworker you’ll be texting about happy hour as your phone sits on this book. This short novel will hold up your phone exceptionally well. Place this great American novel in a prominent spot in front of you, and think about all the fun you already saw in the movie adaptation.
Little Women – Spoiler alert: Beth dies. Now go cozy up at your favorite café, and display this bad boy in front of you while you text your loved ones to remind them how grateful you are not to live in a world where Scarlet Fever is a thing.
Any Harry Potter Book – Harry Potter is the perfect book to display in front of you at a café while you text. This magical series will help attract fellow Gryffindors and make for the most adorable #tbt to blast out to your friends while doing no actual reading whatsoever. Bonus: since you already read these books before your parents let you have a cell phone, you actually know all the spells in case you need to impress the barista.
Now, it’s time to hit up your favorite reading spot and savor the idea of reading!