Do You Really Miss Your Ex or Are You Just Having a Stroke?

Longing for a former lover is an unpleasant and disconcerting experience. But having a stroke is a serious medical emergency that can have devastating effects on the body. That’s why it’s so important to know the difference. So how can you tell if you’re seriously missing your recent ex, who you thought was your soulmate, or if it’s hemorrhagic bleeding in your brain? Below are some symptoms to help you determine what’s going on with you, inside and out.


Extreme Physical Turmoil

The onset of a stroke can cause muscular weakness, numbness in the limbs, and even facial paralysis. This shouldn’t be confused with your face being stuck in a prolonged frown, which is probably a symptom of longing for the person you thought was The One.


Slurred Speech

Slurred speech is common during a stroke, as long as it’s not the slurred speech from self-medicating your newfound loneliness with Barefoot Chardonnay. If you are trying but can’t quite pronounce, “He just made a huge fucking mistake,” you are most likely just missing your ex.


Extreme, Mind Numbing Headache

Extreme headaches can accompany a stroke when they’re not from the hangover you have after drinking those two bottles of wine with your girlfriends. Like, an actual headache that comes out of nowhere. When your head starts pounding and it’s not because Rob just sent another, “When can I get my stuff?” email, you might be having a stroke.



Lack of Understanding and Confusion

While a sign of missing your ex is extreme confusion about why he said you two were cosmically connected and then dumped you a week later because he said he had to “focus on work,” the confusion that comes with a stroke might involve something as basic as not understanding human speech. If EMTs are asking you your name and you can’t seem to come up with an answer, bad news: It’s probably a stroke.


Loss of Sensation

The general feeling of emotional numbness can come from either unfathomable heartbreak or a blood clot in the brain. Here’s a good rule of thumb: The loss of interest in group text message banter with your girlfriends is the result of missing your ex, while the loss of bodily sensation in one side of the body is the result of a stroke.


Smelling Burnt Toast

Stroke survivors often report smelling an odor similar to burnt toast before and during their attack. This is a telltale sign that you’re having a stroke. Unless it happens while you’re sobbing in the bed you two bought together and suddenly remember about that pizza bagel you started making an hour ago. In that case, the burnt toast smell is probably ex-related.


The emotional and physical damage from a stroke or breakup varies from person to person, but one thing remains the same – the earlier you seek attention from a hot, single doctor, the better your chances are for a full recovery.