Between your job, your relationship, and dinners with your girlfriends to complain about your job and your relationship, it’s hard to make time for you and your man. Well, guess what? The weekend is here, and it’s time to kick off your shoes and confront him about everything that’s going wrong in your relationship. What better way to reignite your fire than by getting into a rip-roaring fight? Here are a few simple date night ideas to ensure you end up yelling at each other on the sidewalk:
Dinner and a Scream-Fight
Getting out of the house for a sit-down meal at a nice restaurant is a fantastic way to sow the seeds of a scream-fight. His disinterest in splitting the penne a la vodka with you is sure to segue into you bringing up his refusal to share his feelings about his relationship with his mother, and CLEARLY synonymous to his refusal to share his strained familial history. What else is he not sharing with you? Have this conversation next to the valet stand while both of you are crying. That’s amore!
Scream-Fight and a Movie
There are so many movies you want to see, but why don’t you let him pick this time? He’ll definitely pick a movie that features an impossibly young and thin actress playing a two-dimensional character written by a man. Watching him drool over her is the perfect time to bring up how he doesn’t appreciate your atypical beauty. By picking the movie he picked, he is essentially asking you to lose 30 pounds and not have an opinion about anything. Is he even attracted to you anymore? Ask him after the movie while in line for the bathrooms. The volume of your voices will eventually be higher than that film’s budget!
Scream-Fight at a Museum
While you’re walking towards the modern wing, he idles at the Impressionist exhibit. Specifically a portrait of a woman. When you ask him what he’s thinking, he says, “Oh, nothing, just looking.” His inability to include you in his experience is a denial of your partnership. It’s not that he isn’t thinking about anything while observing the painting, it’s that he doesn’t want to tell you what he’s really thinking. Or if he isn’t thinking anything, that means he thinks women only exist for men to stare blankly at them. You guys should have broken up months ago because of your basic incompatibilities, but why not do it now over a painting? The docents will appreciate the opportunity to see star-crossed young lovers screaming in real life!
A Scream-Fight Night In
A quiet night in means he can let you choose something fun and relaxing to share together. Why is the burden of your mutual enjoyment on your shoulders? While scrolling through “TV Dramas” on Netflix, bring up how you feel like you’re the one carrying the relationship. Or how you feel like if you didn’t text him throughout the day, he wouldn’t text you at all. Or about how when you two went on a backpacking trip through Tuscany, you were the one who booked EVERY hostel and picked EVERY restaurant. IT’S NOT ABOUT NETFLIX; IT’S ABOUT TUSCANY. By the time you’re done being mad at each other, there’ll be a new season of NCIS: Miami available for streaming!
Scream-Fight Double Date
You want him to still see his friends as much as he did before you started dating, because it’s important to have a life outside the relationship. But it turns out that his best friend is the type of person to flirt with the waitress right in front of his girlfriend, who is clearly hiding the pain by asking you about your job. Your man says that his friend is just ordering apps, which is the lamest excuse you’ve ever heard. He’s clearly a womanizer. And if this is his closest confidant, what the hell is your man doing when you’re not around? Say this, at the table, right in front of them. You’ll be exploding at each other before the check drops!
While these ideas are a good starting point, there’s no limit to the activities you can do with your honey that will lead to a potentially relationship-ending fight. Go ahead and find new places to emotionally exhaust him while you unload all the feelings of inadequacy you’ve been feeling since you were 13. Have fun, you two!