In a hurtful story out of Trader Joe’s, the cashier who just shared a hearty laugh with the previous customer is ringing you up like normal.
“It was a tough blow,” you told reporters. “I couldn’t help but wonder: what did that previous customer have that I didn’t have? And, worse, what if they and the cashier were laughing at me?”
Sources said that while your checkout experience proceeded fairly normally, the ray of sunshine that was the interaction between the cashier and the prior customer cast a gray cloud over you and your dried mango slices.
“The cashier’s transition from laughing and happy to silent and blank-faced could only mean one thing,” said Rayna Forester, a witness at the scene. “They definitely hated her guts. That, or they knew the previous customer on a personal level, but there’s no way of knowing for sure.”
Reporters noted that Trader Joe’s cashiers are practically paid to make you feel like they’re falling in love with you – which made this politely quiet interaction even more emotionally devastating.
“I mean, sure, they did compliment my choice in soup and went out of their way to say they liked my nails,” you said. “But I knew they were just doing the bare minimum their job required. They didn’t even so much as engage in a little giggle with me, let alone a healthy chortle like they did with the person ahead of me. From a Trader Joe’s cashier, that’s pretty much like saying, ‘Fuck you’ to my face.”
You told reporters you were worried what this meant about you as a person, and wondered whether you were just not as pleasant as the other customers.
“When the cashier asked me whether I’d be paying with cash or card, I spiraled into a full-blown identity crisis,” you said. “They were practically dripping with disdain for me. I’d always thought of myself as a good person, but what if I’m actually evil, my presence intolerable?”
At press time, you were spotted engaging in a last-ditch effort to gain the cashier’s approval, insisting upon bagging your own groceries. However, all this managed to do was hold up the line and cause the cashier to exchange a knowing smile with the person behind you in line, indicating that they were going to bond over this the minute you left.
