Chobani Releases New Yogurt Without Layer of Cum on Top

Yogurt lovers rejoice! Chobani has finally released a new yogurt with all the original tang minus the thick layer of cum on top.


After fans of the yogurt brand begged them to remove their trademark viscous cum layer, Chobani finally made the decision to offer a cum-free option. However, despite Chobani being beloved for its high protein content, the new cum-free formula has less protein per serving due to the lack of cum.


“The original formula has 14 grams of protein, but without the cum it’s only 10 grams,” shares lead Chobani yogurtist Dr. Janine Snacy. “Turns out that the cum is what gives our yogurt that extra boost. However, it still packs all the original zest of the classic Chobani yogurt.”


Cum-free or classic? The choice is now in the hands of yogurt fanatics.


Mary Franklin is a Chobani enthusiast, and she has a cup of yogurt every morning for breakfast. “I love classic Chobani but I’m not going to miss the thin veil of cum on top. I usually mix it in and pretend the cum wasn’t there at all. I’m so glad they are taking the cum out of the yogurt.”


Cum-free Chobani will join the sugar-free and oat milk Chobani options on the shelves of local grocery stores this spring.



“The layer of cum is Chobani tradition, it was a hard decision for us to take it out,” Dr. Snacy shared. “But we had to give the people what they want, and that, for some reason, was Chobani without the cum on top.”


The delicious Greek-style yogurt will offer the cum-free option in the flavors strawberry, vanilla, and original. Sounds yummy! If you love the Greek-style yogurt but hate the load that sits atop, this new style of yogurt is for you.