Workplace Excited to Add More Diversity as Long as It Doesn’t Change Anything

Justice Labs, a technology company based in Palo Alto, CA, has been in desperate need of more employee diversity since it was founded as a start-up five years ago. Fortunately, company leaders are finally pushing for more diversity and inclusion, which they hope will help change the demographics of their staff, and absolutely nothing else.


“Almost all of the employees here are white, cis, straight men and they always have been, so I think we’re definitely due for a change,” CFO Henry Johnston said. “And then once we’re able to say that we don’t have a homogenous workplace anymore, all our work here will be done! Easy as that!”


Sources confirm that the Justice Labs corporate office is pushing for diversity because it makes them look a lot better on the outside, even if they aren’t prepared to do anything else on the inside.


“Sure, we don’t have an HR department and none of us have gone through sensitivity training, but I don’t really think that’ll really be a problem,” Jared Green, Business Systems Analyst, said. “After all, I have one Black friend and one gay friend who I both see a couple times a year, so I know how to be mindful about what I say and do around marginalized people.”


“I’m also kind of known as the class clown of the office,” Green continued. “So, I can’t wait to show the new hires all my hot takes and impressions! The more the merrier, right?”


Insider reports from the company have also disclosed that the business is only hiring for lower-level positions such as Unpaid Intern, Receptionist, and Administrative Assistant.



“Unfortunately, all of our high and middle level positions are already filled up,” Founder and CEO Richard Slackson said. “But we’re still so happy to have our team better represent what the world truly looks like, as long as the new employees don’t try to change too many things around here. We’ve worked hard to make this company what it is today, so we’re not taking any suggestions.”


At press time, all the current employees at Justice Labs congratulated themselves on having such a great meeting about how they were going to incorporate more diversity into the office, despite not actually making any concrete plans to do so.