Boyfriend Won’t Stop Talking About History of Airplanes or Something

In a deveoping story out of Milwaukee, WI, local boyfriend Nick Delaney won’t stop talking about his newest and driest hobby to date: airplanes, or airports, or air warfare, or something.


“I don’t know exactly when the obsession started,” says the plane enthusiast’s girlfriend, Erin Watt. “But it may have been when I threw a paper airplane at him a month ago and he started monologuing about air wind dynamics, and, God, I couldn’t be less interested even remembering this.”


She isn’t wrong; airplanes and all that stuff are incredibly boring.


“I mean, we all know about Amelia Earhart, the one woman who made air history but kinda fucked it up by getting lost,” Erin reports. “The Wright brothers were also there, building those tent-flap airplanes. You’ve got Tom Hanks in that one movie, and that’s about it. That’s all you need to know.”


“Sometimes there are tiny planes,” Erin adds. “There are mostly big planes. At least, that’s what I’ve picked up from Nick, I think.”


But boyfriend Nick has a different side to the story.


“It’s a genius application for propellers because [something about airplanes],” says Nick, unprompted. “And then according to the new prototype [something about airplanes], although that wasn’t enforced until [something about airplanes].”




“If only I knew how this all started,” says Erin. “Fuck, I bet it was something to do with Ken Burns, that educational bastard. Boyfriends love Ken Burns.”


Nick’s obsession shows no sign of stopping, and he has recently gotten a stack of library books about engines or wind or some airplane bullshit.



As for Erin?


“I still can’t tell you a single new fact about airplanes,” she says. “Not that I’m trying.”