Aïsha Unceremoniously Elected Spokesperson for All Black Women

It was announced this past week after a long deliberation that Phoenix resident Aïsha Franklin has been elected spokesperson for all black women.


“I had no idea I was in the running,” says Ms. Franklin. “I actually didn’t even know that the role existed. I don’t want that responsibility.”


Voted in by a group of peers without any warning, Aïsha was surprised when she received her official inaugural paperwork in the mail.


“It was this big packet explaining that I’m expected to be the voice for all black women in every interaction I have,” she says. “It’s a massive amount of work that I in no way want to do. How am I supposed to represent every single one of us?”


Despite Aïsha’s doubts, friends are confident in she will uphold her duties.


“She’s so smart and articulate,” says Hannah Dupuis, a longtime friend of Aïsha’s. “Whenever I have a question about black women—whether it’s their hair, their music, or their very unique sense of style, which I love by the way—Aisha always explains her perspective. She’s an excellent choice to represent all black women!”


“I really admire and respect Aïsha’s point of view,” co-worker John Rottenburg adds. “She’s made it so that I don’t even really need to meet any other black women. This sure makes my life easier!”


When asked what she planned to do first in her new role, Aïsha struggled to answer.


“I have no idea. I’m one of millions of black women, and we all have our own experiences and interests and thoughts on the world,” she explains. “In fact, I think I speak for all black women when I say that this position itself is racist.”


Thanks for that perspective, Aïsha! You’re doing an amazing job already.