Every office has that cute, funny guy who makes coming to work bearable. But sometimes he needs to stop flirting and fulfill his duties of maintaining the office copier. Here are some tips to help you catch that certain someone’s attention when the copier toner is seriously low and needs to be refilled.
1. Dress to Impress
Impress upon him the severity of the printing situation, that is! Wear smart and sexy but also very faded shirts so when he sees you, he’ll be reminded of the printer toner and how it’s his job to refill it when it gets low. Remember, this is your workplace, so don’t show too much skin. Copiers don’t have skin, so that’ll only draw his attention away from where it needs to be anyway. Capeesh?
2. Water Cooler Flirtation
Push the water cooler up against the photocopier so that when your office crush needs to rehydrate, he’ll have to do so while listening to the incessant beeping of the copier’s “Low Toner” message. Gotcha!
3. Suggest After-Work Drinks
Put yourself out there through barely legible print-outs. By now, the toner should be so depleted that the happy hour flyers you post on the break room bulletin board will be practically blank. That certain someone should be able to make out the bare outline of a martini glass, half of the address of the bar, and (if he’s reading between the lines) that he needs to change the damn toner cartridge. He’s so cute but such a space cadet when it comes to printer ink!
4. Ask Him if He Wants to Grab Lunch (After He Completes All of His Copier-Related Duties)
There’s no pressure in grabbing a bite with a coworker, so it’s perfect for that cutie you’re trying to pressure into refilling the copier. Just make sure to approach him in a professional manner and ask something along the lines of, “If you’ve completed all of your copier-related duties this morning, would you want to maybe go to Chipotle for lunch? The lines have been super short. ;)” Nailed it!
5. Bring In Treats for the Office
Your documents are more faded than ever—you need new toner, STAT. No, don’t Google how to do it yourself! Go to Dunkin Donuts, buy a dozen (only the good kind, no bummers), and place them in and around the copier. Your at-work dreamboat is bound to notice the low toner levels as he’s scraping melted chocolate chips off of the cartridge. Score!
6. Be Direct
When all else fails, speak from the heart. The next time your crush swings by your office or cubicle, say something like, “You just missed the funniest tantrum! That bald guy from accounting—I forget his name, you know, the bald one, Steve or Vince or something—he was kicking and punching the copier, screaming about toner. He was throwing a complete shit fit! Just because the copier was out of toner or something. It was hysterical! Toner! Ha . . . toner.” This may feel overly direct, but stick it out! The reward of finally going out with your coworker cutie and also printing crystal-clear documents will be soooo worth it!
Now that your office crush has replaced the copier toner, you can print out your big project and relax. Maybe grab a cup of coffee from the break room. Right after you flirtatiously remind a certain somebody to change the coffee filter, that is! Happy printing!