As the season changes we are reminded of the passing of time and the fact that new Netflix shows will come for us all eventually. While their arrival remains inevitable, sighting a crow is a forewarning of what will soon appear on our streaming services. Here are five ominous crows that are a sure sign of everything coming to Netflix this fall.
Lenoire
Lenoire is the type of Netflix-signaling crow that comes to you when you’re walking alone late at night. Some people say if she caws above you from an oak tree, it means Ava DuVernay’s new documentary on the prison system, 13TH, will come to Netflix soon. Embrace the short time you have left before you lose your life to couchlock as you binge watch DuVernay’s entire filmography this fall.
Rumplestiltskin
Rumplestiltskin is a malicious, glinty-eyed crow who likes to steal coins from the gutter. If you see him circling you from above, take his presence as a warning that FX’s American Horror Story: Hotel will be available to stream sooner than you think. Say goodbye to your loved ones now, because you’re going to take off your pants after work and marathon this series until they’re all gone.
Gretchen
You might not expect Gretchen to be an omen since she has such a nice, human-sounding name. But that’s how she gets you. Some say if you open a door and she’s staring at you, flee as fast as you can. She’s a sure sign that Black Mirror is now available to stream on your laptop. Begin building your tomb of blankets now and accept your fate.
Caw!!!
Caw!!! is a rare crow living on a long-abandoned pier. The only human he’s ever come in contact with is a thousand year-old mariner named Devin who harpoons ghost whales and binges old Frasier episodes at night. So in the nearly impossible instance you catch Caw!!! leering at you from a wooden post, know that soon you will be watching Barbershop 2: Back In Business on your streaming service and no one and nothing can help you.
Orvil
Orvil was once the companion of an ancient Grecian seer who read futures from cast mouse bones. She is believed to be immortal. If she enters your home through the window, you will know by the sinking feeling in your stomach that she has come to deliver Chelsea Does, Chelsea Handler’s documentary series about marriage, drugs, and the Silicon Valley. In three days time you will have watched only one episode yet have eaten 19 bags of cinema butter popcorn.
While crows traditionally signal death, keep an eye out for these five foreboding birds that deliver sneak peeks into what’s coming to Netflix this fall.
