5 New Ways for Him to Pee on your Eyelids

Everyone knows that to keep a relationship strong, you need to keep things hot in the sack. Next time you find yourself stuck in a routine, try these five sizzling new ways for him to pee on your eyelids:

Kitchen Leak

Next time your man offers to cook you dinner, pop open your favorite bottle of wine and pour him a glass. While he’s sipping and sautéing, sneak up from between his legs and get your face right in his package. Give him a sexy, confident look as you unzip his fly. Then he should pee in your eyelids. Cocktail hour complete!

Hilltop Drizzle

Climb a large hill with your guy. Remind him to stay hydrated. When you get to the top, let him release everything that was in that Nalgene directly onto your eyelids. You’ll love the view from the pee-k.

Burning Love

Go for a romantic walk on the beach with your boo, and stop to go “hunting for jellyfish.” Literally go hunting for jellyfish. When you find one, slam your face into it so it stings your eyelids. Cry in pain until your man puts out the fire in your eyelids with his penis. He’ll love playing lifeguard!


Juicy Jimmy

Buy your beau a juicer. After working through the beginner’s juices, suggest he shake things up by adding beets. When he calls you into the bathroom, surprised about his colorful urine, surprise him by sexily sticking your eyelids directly into his stream. Bonertown!

Urinal Sneak

Call one of your lover’s coworkers and gain access to the office bathroom closest to his cubicle. Sneak in at 11 AM, and unscrew the drains in all the urinals. Hide below them until he eventually comes in to relieve himself. Anticipate which urinal he’ll use, and then squeeze your head through the tiny drain hole to intercept his flow. Just seeing your eyelids in place of the urinal cake will have him whizzing like a racehorse.