Man Who Identifies as Misanthrope Actually Just Misogynist

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28-year-old Brett Swanson has identified as a “misanthrope” since his undergraduate days at Oberlin. But what he doesn’t realize is that after years of expressing disdain for a particular subset of humans, he’s actually just a regular old misogynist.


“Yeah, I consider myself a misanthrope,” says Brett, whose main hobby is proving women wrong on Twitter. “Humanity as a whole is pretty awful.”


Swanson, who is critical of Joe Biden’s policy and Kamala Harris’ entire being, feels that the downfall of society is due to the decline of “critical thinking”.


“We are just a race of idiots who will follow anybody who will validate their silly little insecurities,” says Brett. “That’s how we got Trump. And also that vile slut, Kayleigh McEnany and that old hag, Kellyanne Conway.”


Brett blames the fact that he hasn’t had a second date with a woman in years because they “just can’t handle the truth”.


“I’m a misanthrope, so I’m not for everyone,” Brett adds. “Anyway, most women are just too shallow and vapid to understand my whole deal.”



When asked if his so-called misanthropy might just be obscuring his misogynistic views, he was appalled.


“I’m a feminist,” he said. “Anyway, the people who have done the most harm to the world are all men – women are just too timid, hormonal, and pregnant to be able to pull off that kind of evil on a grand scale. But then again, I’m a misanthrope, so they probably will – just not as successfully.”