Needlessly Cruel Ways to Friendzone Him

The best part of having male friends is watching them salivate over you while you place them in the dreaded “friend zone.” But while it can be fun to complain to him about your dating woes with all the hot assholes you’re seeing, here are some more sophisticated ways to remind him daily that he’ll never see you naked:


Ask his opinion on your professional life and career choices. Then twist the knife by listening to and taking his advice! He might be physically repulsive in every way, but he’s smart and driven, and always has your best interests at heart – That’s more than worth exploiting for your benefit! Tell him constantly that you appreciate his help, in a way that gives him just enough hope that you appreciate him as a person.


Drop hints for thoughtful gifts you’d like for your birthday and holidays. Do you love Indian cooking but just can’t splurge on that naan pan under your current salary? Let him know. He’s sure to take the hint that getting you this thoughtful gift might push him out of the friend zone. But it won’t. And it’s not like you said outright it would so…



Celebrate his successes and encourage him to realize his full potential as a person. Tell him that it’s crazy he’s single and any girl would be happy to have him. This constant boost to his self-esteem and hints that you might find him attractive will deflate his ego even more when you reject him outright.


When you’re out, let him buy you a drink. Then, get the next round yourself. Treat him like an equal, and he’ll never suspect that you’re waiting for an inconvenient moment to break his heart.


Above all, remember that you can still be a real friend to him, while forever reminding him that he is in the friend zone.