The 10 Best Husband Names of 2013

It’s the most important decision you’ll make in your life – how do you choose a name for your future husband? We’ve got you covered with this year’s 10 most popular husband names.


Dustin – Dustins are so fun! They’re emotionally young, so every day is like being back in the fifth grade. “His vows were all Blink 182 lyrics,” says Kyleigh, 22. “I f*cking love him.” Trendy!


Michael – Solid. Standard. Safe. Michaels are great for women who are looking for a low-risk husband. “Michael and I don’t talk much,” says Gloria, 34. “It’s not bad, really. It’s just not…amazing.” Get it, gurl!!


Gucci – Guccis are family-oriented, heavily tanned, and love to party. “He goes with my bag,” says Gina, 23. Nice!


Snake – For ladies who love bad boys! “Snake stole my Jetta,” says Darlene, 34. “Snake get over here!” Hot stuff!


Jordan – “I’ll never stop loving you, Jordan!!” screamed Anne, 31, outside his split-level ranch. Take it from Anne – Jordans are worth the fight! Drag him down the aisle!


Channing – No one is hotter than a Channing! “We’re actually doing really well, sorry,” says Jenna Dewan, wife of Channing Tatum. “Please get off my windshield.” Magic!!!


Warby Parker – A beautiful husband you can actually afford! “He’s so handsome and looks expensive, but really anybody can snag someone like him!” says Jenny, 41. Chic!


Chipotle – Chipotles are half-hot, half-freezing-cold, and totally cool with you gaining a little weight. “This name makes me hungry,” says Jill, 27. You said it, Jill!


Penis – Definitely the wildest husband name of the year! “I marry penis,” reports an unidentified woman clutching a small jar. “My penis husband.” Cute, you two!


Jaden – Women who married Jadens love men who have an unnaturally strong bond with their father. “Sometimes I kiss them both!” says Jasmine, 21. Weird!


Cat – You can marry your cat!!! “I married Cat. He’s my cat,” said me, 25. It’s legal!!!