You and your guy may be a great match, but that won’t make him get on one knee (or both knees) to chow down on your box. So what can you do to encourage him? Definitely not the same old stuff you’ve been doing! Here are five ways to finally turn him from just a boyfriend, into a man who’s not afraid to just chow down on that ol’ box of yours.
Drop Subtle Hints at Having a Box
Your boyfriend simply may not know you want him to chow down on your box. Signal to him you’re ready for him to take the dive by saying the word “box” a lot. Start casually, by working “box” and “box eating” into normal conversations, and watch his reaction. For example: “Sweetie did you get the mail? I’m expecting a box that you should eat. It’s my vagina.” Or just whisper “box” directly into his ear. This will subtly put the idea of box eating into his lil’ man head!
Let Him Know Where Your Box Is
Your boyfriend can’t chow down on your box if he can’t find it. Stand on a chair and point at your crotch, tape a piece of computer paper to your pants that says “here it is,” or jump out from a behind a bush as if you’re dodging a bullet while screaming “boxboxbox!” as he mows the lawn. Any of these tactics will help your guy figure out where your box is so he can eat it. The point is: Get creative with your tactics!
Let Him Take His Time
Think of the bigger picture. You have your whole life ahead of you and you’ll probably only have sex with your man for about fifteen minutes before he explodes, so don’t rush. Trust that he’ll chow down on that box when he feels ready! Relax. A calm box is an edible box.
Just Tell Him To Eat It
Without framing it as an ultimatum, talk about how you envision your box getting chowed down on in the near future. Then gently ask if he envisions the same thing. Don’t make him commit to a specific date because this can remove the spontaneity of box-chow time.
If you still haven’t gotten that box chowed down on then he’s not the one for you. Dump him immediately and find a man who’s hungry for box!
There’s nothing worse than being in a long-term relationship and never hearing the words, “Will you let me chow down on that box?” But try these five tips and he’ll certainly be nudged in the right direction!